Music is the soundtrack of your life
by annikaantique
Summary: Series of one-shots inspired by individual songs. Rated T just to be safe. New story: 'Sometimes to win you have to sin'. "I'm here with you 'till the end. They won't take us down. Remember, we are Angels with Shotguns" Kyoko said and winked. Kanae's expression turned tone darker. "Mo! I still can't believe the President named our team like that!"
1. Valentine's Morning

**Valentine's Morning**

Kyoko took a deep breath before ringing doorbell announcing her arrival. She had once again agreed to come over and cook dinner for Tsuruga-san. For Ren. Waiting with grocery bags on her hands Kyoko thought back that same day.

They had run to each other this morning at LME when she was on her way to see President. It had been several days since they had seen each other. '_That must be it. That must have been the reason for her to suggest this herself._' Kyoko had no idea that she was playing straight to Yashiro's (and President's) hand. Yashiro informed that this was rare evening off-work and he only had work after noon the following day. Then she said it. That she would like to cook for him. As soon as she realized what she had said, she hurried and used the same old mantra. A blush started to color her cheeks she tried to reason "I-it must have been long from the last time R-Tsurug-san ate healthy home-made food!". Looking up to Tsuruga-san, she thought she saw something in his eyes, but it was gone as quickly, so she wasn't sure what to thi-

"gami-san? ...Kyoko?" Ren could see when Kyoko came back to Earth and her eyes focused on him. '_And she's gonna flip out in three, two.._'. "I'm so sorry Tsuruga-san!" Kyoko cried and tried to perform her dogeza apologizing. Ren was prepared and had grabbed her shoulder before she could lower herself outside his apartment. "Mogami-san, there is no reason for you to apologize. But is everything okay? I tried to call you but you were deep in your thoughts." '_Damn, I said her name. But maybe she didn't hear that. Her face didn't have her usual expression like when she is dreaming again something. So there is something that's bothering her_.' Ren made a mental note to ask that later. "I'm so sorry sempai for my rude behavior! I came all the way here for selfish reasons and I'm bothering you when you finally have time to rest and-". This time she was quicker than Ren and now she was doing dogeza on the floor. '_She said she had selfish reasons, right? What is that supposed to mean?_' Ren thought while kneeling down and helped her from the floor. "Mogami-san first let us go inside. You came all the way here to cook for me and even did all the shopping beforehand. You aren't disturbing me at all. You are always welcome here, I hope you know it" he tried to assure her. He took the groceries from girls hands and carried bags to the kitchen. Turning his back to her, he didn't notice small blush on her face.

Kyoko soon followed after him, took her shoes off and put on guest slippers she had used many times before. '_That's right. I've been here many times before. This doesn't differ from other times_,' she thought. Except for this time she had feelings for him. And she was aware of those feelings that were getting bigger every moment being with him. Kyoko gave a sigh and walked to Ren's kitchen.

This while Ren had started to unpack the grocery bags and tried to put everything where they might belong. Kyoko walked to the kitchen and giggled to what he guessed was his expression right now. Kyoko took the other bag from his hand and started preparing dinner. Clearing his voice little embarrassed he asked "So how was your week Mogami-san? It has been little time that we last met". "Oh, yeah I think you haven't heard it yet" Kyoko stopped for a second her work and continued on smaller voice. Ren noticed the changed atmosphere. "You know I was going to meet President today when we met earlier" "Yeah, I was assuming that." "Well, last week he asked me to visit him when I had time on my schedule. I was a little surprised about that. If he had something to tell me he usually calls me. Or if it's about work he lets me know about it by Sawara-san.." Kyoko continued cooking and Ren wasn't getting his answer. He asked carefully. "Kyoko, what did President say this time?" "Well... He gave me a LoveMe job." "Okay, that isn't the first time. What kind of job it is?" Ren was getting more uneasy more she told. '_Wasn't one of her LoveMe job to accompany me and play Setsu? He wouldn't dare to do something like that again. Or would he? You never know what that old man is planning_.' Kyoko sighed and told Ren what had happened that day while making his dinner.

Kyoko was having a great day. Moko had agreed to have lunch with her today. Kyoko still had some time before her friend would arrive at LME, from where they would go together to some new coffeehouse close by. Waiting Moko in their LoveMe locker room she was reading a magazine and her phone started ringing. Kyoko answered. "Mogami-kun! I have new LoveMe job for you. Can you come up here now?" "Yes sir, I will come" With that, she made her way to elevators and to Presidents office. "Good day Mogami-kun. Have a seat." "Good day President" President was sitting on his large comfy sofa and Kyoko took the seat across from it. "You know, I got quite surprising news from your director today" "From my director? You mean Director Anna? From Box-R" "From Anna, yes. He kindly told me about the cast gathering after the filming was done last week. Apparently, some of the cast decided to go to karaoke. But he wasn't available to go, unfortunately." "Yes sir, but what that has to do with anything?" Kyoko asked puzzled. "Since he wasn't present there himself, he wasn't aware of this either until the next day. Someone from the karaoke had sent this video for him the following day." President handed Kyoko an iPad and she was shown a clip of a video. In that video, she saw herself singing. "I wasn't aware that someone filmed this," she said little embarrassed. "Sir, is there something wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Kyoko was now worried she had messed something. The Presiden himself had asked her to come up and see this video. "Something wrong? No, you certainly didn't do anything wrong" President laughed. "I didn't know you sing" "I don't, on the public at least," Kyoko said. Sure, she enjoyed music as everybody else did but thanks to the certain person she might have learned something about music and singing. "But still, I don't understand what this got to do with a Love Me." "As I said, I was surprised when I received this and found out you have such a lovely voice" Kyoko blushed and President continued smiling "I went and showed this video to our head of Music Department and he from one look he was already planning your debut there." "What?! But I am an actress. I'm not a singer. I-I love acting.." Kyoko said shocked. There was no way President was transferring her there. She was enjoying her life as an actress. "I know Mogami-kun, and that is what I told him also." He assured her. "You belong to Talent Section and I am not changing that. But with the Music Department, we planned your new Love Me job". President's smile grew which made Kyoko's face pale. "You are to perform a song in LME's annual Valentines Day Party. I am looking forward to hearing your singing on the live audience."

Ren was stunned. Why he didn't know about Kyoko's singing ability? If President himself said Kyoko was that good it must be true. On the other hand, he wasn't that surprised at all. She mastered everything, whenever she just made her mind about it. Got her 100%. It was admirable and also sad how her childhood still haunted her. Even if in this case she probably was unaware of it. In his thoughts, Ren didn't notice Kyoko finishing her cooking. "Tsuruga-san, please help yourself. I hope this is to your liking" "Oh thank you Mogami-san" Ren seated himself to table and Kyoko took her seat across from him. "Itadakimasu," they said and enjoyed eating in silence. Ren broke it after finishing his plate of delicious food. "About that party.. Have you decided what you are going to perform?" he asked curiously. Kyoko stopped eating and looked sadly at Ren. "That's where I am having problems now. I was allowed to choose whatever I liked was best, and today the President wanted to know my chosen piece. That was why I went there today. But... I still havn't decided." She moved her food on her plate and continued. "Because I have not decided, President gave me some suggestions and I can choose from those. But I don't know what would be good for that party. So, I was wondering if I can ask for your opinion?" she asked. "I would love to help you to choose". He rose from the table and took plates to the kitchen so they could start choosing right away.

Kyoko had given Ren her song pieces to choose from and had asked to quickly use his bathroom. She had locked herself there and was safe from Ren's deadly bright smile. Earlier when Ren had agreed to help her she was sure she was melting under that smile. Kyoko put her hand to her chest and sank to the floor. She felt so many emotions. She was happy that she got to spend time with Ren again. Glad to see him healthy and seeing him eating her food. She was really nervous about this new job. Nervous to be here at his apartment alone with him. But now what was emerging to the surface more and more often was the pain. How long it would be until Ren would date someone? Until he would confess to that high school girl of his? She wouldn't have these nights with him again. She would always be his kouhai to him. She would be his friend if he needed. Kyoko stood up and looked herself on a mirror. She needed to wipe sad that expression away. She slapped her cheeks and headed back to the living room.

Ren had gone through all suggestions Kyoko had gotten from President by the time she came back. He made room for her to sit next to him on the couch and she slowly made her way there. Just making sure, he turned to Kyoko. "You know these are all love songs?" He was waiting for her face to darken for the forbidden word but she had a small smile on her face when she replied "You know President, right? It's always about love and I'm performing on Valentines Day for god's sake." She took one paper from his hand and scrolled her eyes over it. "From what President said, that he thinks I can sing well enough to perform in front of whole LME, and probably some media knowing him, that doesn't scare me. But what does is my lack of ability to sing ABOUT love. I don't have that much experience of it. Let alone good ones I could use as a reference." '_Especially when I wasn't supposed to fall again_' she added in her mind.

Ren was in shock. She didn't sound angry or upset when she was talking about love like usually. Wasn't she that broken than he had thought? He looked at her when she was reading. She looked somewhat calm. Maybe little sad but like she just said she didn't have experience of real happy love. Could she be slowly healing without him noticing? Did President know about this? Is it why he had put her in this task. Or was it only her ability to sing? Was it too bad to feel hopeful? He heard her humming one of the songs with a small smile on her lips. She looked so beautiful right now. He wanted to pull her into his arms and just hold her. To show her how much she has been missing on.

The warmth in his chest kept rising. He couldn't imagine ever living without her. This night was a good example. He had been working long days for a long time and didn't have time to see her barely at all. Just seeing her this morning lifted his spirit. And then she had suggested coming over! It was the first time for her to do it without being tricked by Yashiro. And now he got to spend this evening with his loved one.

When Kyoko stopped humming her song, Ren said "I don't know that much about singing. But performing to live audience doesn't differ that much from acting. And that is what I know you can do. You are choosing your piece and at the party, you are going to shine like always you do when you are on the stage." Kyoko blushed hard from his praise. They continued talking about the songs and which would be the best choice for her.

Kyoko woke up feeling warm. Her bed felt softer than what she was used to. When she opened her eyes she thought she was still dreaming. She wasn't in her room back in Darumaya. It took her moment to take all in. She was laying on the couch in Ren's living room. Kyoko turned her head and was face to face with Ren. She was leaning on him this whole time.

Trying not to panic and causing him to wake up she laid there completely still. She watched Ren's sleeping face. Sun could be seen from between curtains and it made him shine a little bit. At least in her eyes. He looked so beautiful. She carefully moved his hair from his face. And that woke Ren up. Kyoko quickly closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. She didn't know how she was supposed to behave! She could feel his breath on her skin. He was carefully moving not to wake her. She felt his hand touching her hand and slowly moving to her face. "Good morning my love" he whispered so quietly she barely heard what he said. He carefully got up and Kyoko needed to really concentrate to listen to his quiet voice "I wish I could wake up every morning like this with you". Only when she heard bathroom door to get closed Kyoko released her breath she was holding.

Ren was right guessing the rest of the morning would be spent in awkward silence. Waking up next to Kyoko was like dream come true to him and he had to pinch himself a couple of times so he would believe that it wasn't. Ren knew Kyoko was acting all shy because they had fallen asleep together on his couch but he was happy that he was first to wake up. If he hadn't Kyoko might have fled the building before he even realized. Now he was driving her back to LME. Stealing glances of her time to time and he saw her looking her notes from last night they made together. And if she could she would soon burn a hole in those papers just by staring at them so firmly. "Have you yet decided which one you are going to perform?" Ren asked her. She turned her eyes to him and gave a small smile. "Yes. I decided. I am going to see President today and tell him." That was all she said.

Soon after Kyoko was standing in President office. She handed him her choice and waited for his reply. Lory read the lyrics and was amazed. "Are you sure you are going to do this? This is-" "I am certain. I need to do this". Lory saw resolution in Kyoko's eyes. '_Something has happened after I gave her this task. What did that boy do this time? I need to remember to ask if Yashiro knows anything.._' "Well Mogami-kun, if you have made up your mind about this, I am glad." President smiled at her. "Here is your schedule. You are going to be busy practicing and working. I hope you are ready" he challenged her. Kyoko smiled back to him. If he needed to describe, he'd say she had matured over one night. "You are going to start right now. Everything will be ready for the party. Break a leg".

Kyoko had not seen Ren for almost two weeks now since she went to cook for him. She had been practicing hard with LMEs Music Department alongside her other jobs. It meant long days and everybody around her could see she was getting more and more tired but it was worth it. And tonight was the night. Tonight she would first time for her to sing in front of a live audience. In front of all of her friends and coworkers. In front of Ren. So it would be underestimated to say she was nervous. The party was held in the President's villa. It was grand enough to fit all of the guests and working staff. To Kyoko's surprise, there weren't that much media present that night. That made her feel a little bit more comfortable.

Kyoko was chatting and laughing with her friends when she noticed the commotion close to the door of the grand hall. She then saw that the commotion was, of course, the caused by Ren arriving at the party. He was wearing a custom suit that fitted to him like a glove. It was currant shade of red jacket with matching bottom, with a black shirt underneath along with a dark grey tie. His hair was neatly styled back. Kyoko's breath caught to her throat just by sawing a glimpse of him. Her friend Kotonami Kanae noticed her reaction and snickered, "It was about time, you know. Though I am surprised YOU are going to do this." Turning her attention back to her friend Kyoko replied blushing "I am here only because President pushed me here." "Yeah right. But however this night is going to end Kyoko, I want you to know I am proud of you," Kanae said gently to her. Kyoko's eyes got teary and she jumped to Moko, hugging her so tight her friend was already regretting what she had just said.

The party was lovely, even Kyoko had to admit it. Although she still wasn't accustomed thought about romantic love she still admitted that the President had once again made a good job planning all this. The grand hall was decorated with soft glowing lights, beautiful flowers on the walls and tables and sweet background music, but not too loud. You could still be able to talk with your partner. Kyoko was now surrounded by her friends from Bridge Rock, the Ishibashi brothers when Ren walked to her. "Good evening Mogami-san. I hope you are having a lovely night." "G-Good evening Tsuruga-san. I am enjoying this party a lot, thank you for asking," Kyoko answered not quite looking at him. '_She is still nervous around me it seems_', Ren sight in his mind. He saw one of her friends looking Kyoko the way that made Ren feel restless. "You look beautiful tonight," he said to her. Kyoko's eyes wide and face screaming red, she didn't have her reply before the President's personal assistant, better known as Sebastian, came behind her and whispered something to her ear. Kyoko's blush quickly subdued tho there could still be seen some of the blush Ren's words had caused, and she turned to her friends. "I am sorry, but the President has asked me to accompany him. Have a good evening" she said. Then she turned to Ren and said quick goodbyes to him also and went away with Sebastian.

Watching her walk away Ren could only look at her retreating back. He had told her she looked beautiful tonight, but for real, she looked beyond beautiful, utterly breathtaking. She was wearing a rose shade mermaid dress which was hugging her figure from just right places. The top of the dress was boat neck top and on the left side of her hem was deep split where you could see her long leg when she was walking. Her hair had on half updo with some braiding on it and couple cute loose curls rounded her face. She was the princess of the night. And he wasn't the only one to notice that. He could see many of the men looking at her passing by and that only made him feel more jealous than he already was. He watched how she made her way to the President's side and how the President said something to her and she nodded. They then continued to move closer to the back of the room where Lory had made some room to be staged area. _'It seems now is Kyoko's turn_'.

"Ladies and gentlemen! I hope you have had a wonderful evening full of love and affection on this beautiful night," Lory spoke to his quests. "Tonight I am proud to present our own hidden talent! She is going to sing to you today for the first time! Let me introduce you to our lovely Love Me girl, Kyoko!". Kyoko walked to the stage and smiled at the audience that had gathered closer. The President hugged her and handed her microphone. She thanked and took it and said still smiling beautifully "Hey everybody! The President asked me to sing a song to you all in honor of this Valentine's Day party. I hope you enjoy this".

Kyoko closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she turned her face to the band behind her and nodded. Light of the hall dimmed and piano started playing softly.

_When I get my eyes opened and see you there so close to me_

_You're so warm leaning to my side_

_I stay there_

_ You bring your hand to my hand so slowly_

_You say "darling, let's just be here"_

Ren felt his world slowing down. She sounded like an angel. She had never looked so beautiful like she did now standing on the stage her eyes closed. He could only see her and hear her voice.

_Searching for my lips you mess up my hair and melt to the kiss_

_I can only feel the silent joy in my veins_

_I'm just waiting_

_ You take me silently, as if you were afraid of something_

_And I conform and just want to be there_

Her voice now got stronger and guitar and drums were now joining making the perfect melody. But Ren didn't notice that. He was watching her. She opened her eyes and he saw her emotions clear right there. She knew what she was singing, she wasn't just acting it out for the sake of the show.

_This feeling can only be reached in the morning_

_This is exactly how I want to start my day_

_And lighten up with you to the morning slowly_

Saxophone now echoed in the grand hall and brightened up the song. Kyoko closed her eyes again and swayed on the slow beat of the interlude.

_This feeling can only be reached in the morning_

_This is exactly how I want to start my day_

_And lighten up with you to the morning slowly_

Kyoko opened her eyes and looked straight to Ren's eyes. And there it was. He then saw it clearly.

_When I get my eyes opened and see you there so close to me_

_You're so warm leaning to my side_

_I stay there_

_You bring your hand to my hand so slowly_

_You say "darling, let's just be here"_

_You say "darling, let's just be here"_

_You say "darling, let's just be here"_

The song ended and everything was quiet. Nobody dared to break the spell. Then Lory started to applause and everybody joined him. Kyoko smiled brightly and thanked everybody for listening and she moved down from the stage. Ren was still standing still where he was during the song. He was trying to understand what had just happened with the eye contact with Kyoko and was he just reflecting his own feelings there. He didn't notice Kyoko to walking to his way until she was standing right before him. "I heard what you said. That morning," she said blushing and not right looking to his eyes. "If there is even a small chance, I would want to do it again. I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you every morning." Ren was speechless. He hadn't imagined it. "Kyoko-" Ren said and took her to his arms. Kyoko stiffed but slowly she relaxed and put her arms around his torso. "Kyoko, I love you," he said to her ear. "I love you too, Ren" she whispered.

The song used in this story: Evelina - Aamu


	2. How bad it could be?

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Yashiro asked. "Maybe we should wait until she is back." They had had the same conversation over and over again this past week. But Ren was sure. He had waited for the whole week. "How bad it could be?" He asked again. "You have seen it, the President has seen it but neither of you wants me to see this," Ren said holding a CD he had got from the President. It basically burned his hand, so badly he wanted to see her. "We know you miss her but _this_ is not making it any easier," Yashiro tried to convince him. "Just wait at least one more day, okay? The President just said she is coming back home soon since she is done with her part of filming. Maybe watching _that_ with her would be the best." Yashiro moved closer to Ren and took the CD from his hand. "Come on, we need to go anyway so we won't be late," he said and watched his friend/protege sighing and walking out of the President's office. Without turning around Yashiro asked, "How long?" "She should be here tomorrow morning, hopefully, he can wait for that long," Lory said, worry coloring his voice.

Later that day Ren stopped his car in front of his manager's apartment and said goodnight to him. "Just think what I said today. Good night Ren, see you tomorrow," Yashiro said and closed the car door. Watching his friend to leave again, he pulled gloves to his hands and started typing to his cell phone.

Closing the front door Ren sighed, kicked his shoes off and walked to his living room. He dropped his bag to the coffee table and decided to take a shower. It would be needed after a long day and also he would have little more time to think this through.

Standing in the shower, Ren thought about Kyoko. Well, that was what he did most of the time nowadays anyway. She had got a wonderful job offer after her success from Box-R. Many directors wanted her to be a part of their production. Kyoko had decided her next role to be in a new mini TV-series called 'Nothing is what it seems'. What she told Ren before they parted was that she would play a part of a 15-year-old teen whose parents were very influential people. For the outside world, her family life and personal life looked like a picture perfect. But the reality was cruel. Each episode would be filmed with a different point of view from different family members.

Ren felt so proud of her. They have been calling or texting to each other every now and then. Somehow he felt them grow closer and had started to feel hope. But Ren also felt more miserable not being able to see her. That's when Kyoko had told Ren via one call, that her director had included one extra task to all lead actors. Each would have a different opening dialog to start their episode and since everybody was waiting for this series to be a big hit, they wanted to boost it even more, if that was even possible. So she had got a side-job to sing a song written for her about her character. And that was what was inside that CD Ren had got. It was filmed like a music video and was to be aired a week before her episode. Ren wanted to see this so badly but was little cautious because both Yashiro and Lory had warned him not to watch this yet. He had seen her part in _that idiot's_ music video and didn't like it. But he would survive watching this. It can't be that bad since it was Kyoko's. She was a great actor.

Exiting the shower Ren put some clothes on and walked to his kitchen. He took a glass and poured some of his whiskey on it and took it to the living room with him. Ren sat on his couch and took a sip from his glass. He then took the CD from his bag, put it to his DVD player and pressed the play button.

Music started playing. The first scene showed teenage girl with black shoulder-length hair walking in the school hallway, just melody playing on the background. She passed by many groups, girls and boys, and had a polite smile on her face. She greeted teachers she met and then walked outside. There was a nice looking car waiting for her. The scene and music faded and only you could hear was the scream. Slowly coming louder and louder.

_I'm caught up in your expectations_

_You're trying to make me live your dream_

_But I'm causing you so much frustration_

_And you only want the best for me_

This scene showed a family having dinner together. Everything in the room yelled for money and class. Kyoko, or her character, was sitting next to her brother, across the dining table from their parents.

_You wanted me to show more interests_

_To always keep a big bright smile_

_Be that pinky little perfect princess_

_But I'm not that type of child_

The father, in his mid-forties, turned his eyes to her and spoke something to her. Kyoko, who was quietly eating, could be seen flinching and raising her eyes to the man. She tried to speak but her father interrupted Kyoko and continued. Kyoko turned to her mother who was nodding and to her brother who didn't meet her eyes and just continued eating. Kyoko stood abruptly up from the table and stormed out of the room.

The scene changed to her coming to her room, slamming the door close and falling face first to her bed. The camera zoomed to her nightstand. There was a photo which she picked up and looked to.

_And this storm is rising inside of me_

_Don't you feel that our whole worlds collide?_

_It's getting harder to breathe_

_It hurts deep inside_

Kyoko's photo showed her with some people of her age. Her friends. She touched the photo and one tear fell from her right cheek.

_Just let me be_

_Who I am_

_It's what you really need to understand_

_And I hope so hard for the pain to go away_

She swept the tear away, but it made her face crumble and she cried from her heart.

_And it's torturing me_

_But I can't break free_

_So I cry and cry but just won't get it out_

_The Silent Scream_

Underneath the music, Ren heard a muffled scream. It was Kyoko's. It sounded so real. Like she was in pain. Ren suddenly felt sick. He saw black and white scenes flashing on his TV screen. Probably from the TV series this video was from. It showed Kyoko with her parents and next with her friends. Again and again.

_Tell me why you're putting pressure on me_

_And everyday you cause me harm_

_That's the reason why I feel so lonely_

_Even though you hold me in your arms_

_Wanna put me in a box of glitter_

_But I'm just trying to get right out_

_And now you're feeling so so bitter_

_Because I let you down_

_And this storm is rising inside of me_

_Don't you feel that our whole worlds collide?_

_It's getting harder to breathe_

_It hurts deep inside_

Scenes went faster and faster until stopping altogether. The scene then changed back to Kyoko's room and she was lying in her bed. Her crying had ended but her eyes were empty. Like she didn't feel anything. Ren was watching this and his panic started to rise. His throat felt dry. He knew that look. He had once had the same eyes as she did now.

_Just let me be_

_Who I am_

_It's what you really need to understand_

_And I hope so hard for the pain to go away_

_And it's torturing me_

_But I can't break free_

_So I cry and cry but just won't get it out_

_The Silent Scream_

Kyoko rose from her bed and walked to a joint bathroom in her room. She closed and locked the door. Her reflection flashed in a mirror on the wall where she looked into her eyes, never really seeing anything anymore.

_Can't you see how I cry for help_

_Cause you should love me just for being myself_

_I'll drown in an ocean_

_Of pain and emotion_

_If you don't save me right away_

Kyoko walked next to her bathtub and the camera showed how water started to fill the tub. She climbed in, sat with her knees pressing to her chest and rested her head to her knees.

_Just let me be_

_Who I am_

_It's what you really need to understand_

_And I hope so hard for the pain to go away_

_And it's torturing me_

_But I can't break free_

_So I cry and cry but just won't get it out_

_The Silent Scream_

The camera turned away from Kyoko's face, to film the bathroom floor next to the tub. It was a clean white tile floor. One red blob dropped to that floor. Again. And again.

_My Silent Scream_

The living room was dark. The only light came from the TV that was still on. Ren had never closed it. When it had ended he first hadn't felt anything. But the song had repeated itself on his mind again and again. His hands started to sweat. He felt something wet. Then it was cold. The cold felt familiar. He had felt this same cold before. That cold slowly ate him from the inside. It hurt. He didn't want this. He felt scared. He-. His fingers felt warmer than anything else. The warmth started to melt his fingers and slowly it spread to his hands. And from there to his body. First, it was his touch that reacted to anything. He felt something soft in his hands. Then it was hearing. He heard quiet sniffing somewhere close. Then he saw her. Ren saw Kyoko on her knees before him and holding his hands in her. She was quietly crying. Ren didn't believe his eyes. "K-Kyoko?" he whispered. Kyoko's eyes flew to meet his. "Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?" she asked tears still rolling on her cheeks. Ren paused, "I am" he then answered. "Why are you here?" "I came back one day earlier because everything was wrapped back in the set. I was supposed to meet Moko-san, but Yashiro-san called me. He was worried about you." Kyoko told him. "I then tried to call you but you didn't answer. I became so worried something had happened and asked Yashiro to lend me his spare key to your place. That's how I got in..." she confessed. Her eyes started to blur from the unshed tears again. "And when I got inside everything was dark. You didn't answer to me when I tried to call your name. Yo-you, you just sat here in the dark. You didn't hear me. You didn't answer to me! This was even worse than that car stunt you did back in the Dark Moon shooting!" Kyoko cried. Ren couldn't answer. All he did was watch her. She was real. She was here. She was okay. "I-I'm sorry Kyoko. I think Yashiro and the President were right. I shouldn't have watched this video at all." Ren tried to say. "It felt so real. I saw you so hurt. You hurt yourself!" Ren said louder. Kyoko could see him getting distressed again. "Ren I am all right! I am fine. It was just acting. I am fine," she tried to calm him down. Ren let out a big sigh and lowered his head to her shoulder. "I know now. It just hurt me to see you in pain." For a moment everything was quiet and nobody moved. "Can I ask a favor Kyoko?" Ren asked. "Anything" "Can you stay?" he asked. Despite the emotional rollercoaster she just had, or maybe just because of it, she got up to her feet and sat next to Ren on his couch. "I will be here. You can rest now." She said. It took a moment for Ren to understand her. But when he did, he gave her a gentle smile and put his head to her lap. He hadn't realized how tired he really was and he fell asleep almost right away. Kyoko watched that to happen and smiled tired but also a gentle smile. She quickly sent a text to Yashiro and then watched over Ren's peaceful sleep.

The song used in this story: Anna Blue - Silent Scream


	3. What if I told you

"So, who is going to open their own first?" "Mo! Chiori, can't you just open it?" "Even if I've been here on Love Me less time than you two, even I know this is really suspicious!"

Little earlier girls had entered the locker room and immediately noticed something new on the Love Me locker room table. Walking closer they noticed that there were three envelopes. Bright, Love Me-pink, envelopes. "Of course it is the President," Kanae said under her breath. And on the table next to envelopes there was a note. "We do it at the same time," Kyoko swallowed looking straight ahead of her face showing barely any emotions. "Sounds fair" Moko sighed. Girls picked their own from the table. "Three, two, one". For a while, there was a deep silence. "Can I see yours?" Kanae asked from Kyoko. Kyoko handed hers to Kanae while Kanae moved her envelope to Chiori's hand. There was the same silence when girls read their friend's envelopes. They stood still facing each other, only hands moving when they switched envelopes again. "It's a song?" Kanae asked puzzled. "It's for to build a character," Chiori said next to her. She had picked the note that was sitting on the table. "The President told us this time to practice building a new character from these papers and has scheduled time for each of us to discuss our ideas" Chiori capsulized the note. "So these songs are like our scripts," Kyoko said exited. "Sounds fun!"

_Knock knock knock_. Kyoko waited outside the President's office. It was close to her scheduled time to meet him and present her ideas for her character. The door opened and Sebastian, the President's personal aid was there. He let Kyoko in and showed her way to the comfy couch. Next, to couch, there was a cup of tea waiting for her. Still steaming a little, freshly poured. "Did I arrive too early, Sebastian-san?" Kyoko asked seeing that the President was nowhere in the office. Sebastian shakes his head as in 'no' and handed Kyoko a note. 'Mogami-kun' it said. 'I am sorry to inform you but I am not present to be here when you arrive. Due to my sudden absence, I asked someone equally knowledgeable about your subject to stand in my place. Believe me, I would have loved to hear your thoughts about this job'. Kyoko sighed and put the note the small table next to her. She took a taste from her tea when Sebastian opened the office's door again. "Thank you" was all Kyoko heard, she had instantly recognized his voice and now she was almost choking to her drink. Tsuruga-san heard this and rushed inside. "Mogami-san! Are you alright?" he asked worry in his voice and sat next to her. "Y-yes, just surprised" Kyoko managed to say and tried to catch her breath again. "But Tsuruga-san, what are you doing here?" she asked. "The President asked me to come. To help with some work, that was all he said when he called to me earlier" Ren told her. "But I don't yet know what it is". To that, Kyoko smiled brightly and Ren was dazzled. "I might know" Kyoko quickly answered and handed Ren the note the President had written for her. "Yesterday we received a new Love Me task from him to try some character building. We all got different material to work with. And today I was supposed to come here and present my thoughts to him" Kyoko told Ren when he was done the reading. Ren smiled. "So like in old times". "Not so long time ago" Kyoko laughed. It warmed Ren's chest. He enjoyed spending time with this lovely young lady and recently that quality time had been lessened due to a lot of work, even if Yashiro always tried to squeeze some breaks for him.

"So what are we working today?" God, he loved how that sounded in his ear. "It's a song," Kyoko said exited. "Oh, that's different," he smiled. "But then again it doesn't differ much from a script. Depends on a song but they also tell their own story. And from its lyrics, you pick up the outlines necessary for your character but as with script you still add layers to make it deeper and more realistic"Ren quickly changed to his 'teacher-mode' in Kyoko's eyes. "Yes, that's what I also thought. And this exercise is for good practice if I ever got a part in another music video". Ren noticed the course where the conversation could lead and which he really wanted to avoid so he quickly changed the subject. "Okay, so let us start working".

Sebastian brought Ren a cup of coffee as Kyoko and Ren took more comfortable sitting positions on the couch. She handed him her piece of the song she had received yesterday from the President. "What I first noticed, it is a song sung by a male which would first make me think about being someone close to the storyteller. In my opinion, a close friend, or" her voice got a little smaller " someone more dear to him". Ren took a small glance of her and proceeded reading the lyrics. The more he read the more shocked he was. 'What is that old man thinking?! No, no, I have to stay calm! She has no idea. But still, this is a set-up! He did this on purpose. That bastard'. "Tsuruga-san, are you listening?" Kyoko asked concerned. She noticed the atmosphere changing and his expression getting darker. "Oh yes, Mogami-san. Sorry, please continue." "Okay.." Kyoko hesitated a little looking at him but decided to comply. "'_What if I told you who I really was, what if I let you in on my charade?_'. This yet doesn't give much for me to play but tells more of how he is feeling. He is thinking should he tell something to me. '_What if I told you what was really going on. No more masks and no more parts to play_'. So he is certainly hiding something and probably pretending to be something else than he really is. Depending on the-" "Mogami-san" Ren interrupted her. "Yes?" Kyoko asked surprised. "It is a natural way to think since it is a male voice, and you being female, that here you would be the supporting role, but you have previously played male roles before, right?" Ren said. Kyoko thought back her time with Kuu and playing as his son Kuon. But she had only done what asked. Or, did Ren try to tell her that gender didn't matter in this context? "Are you saying that I should view this from his perspective?" "It certainly would be good to try, maybe both sides. The character A is telling his thoughts and character B is somewhat listening. You here don't have yet much to create for B since your part to react to this would be after the song is done. So first, tell me more about character A". Kyoko sat there quiet. She had not thought this from that way at all. Even if the voice what she heard was a man if that was removed and she only had lyrics, what would she think? The gender wouldn't matter because these thoughts didn't specify it. These were the thoughts anyone could have. Kyoko turned to her notes, put them on the table and turned to Ren. She looked into his eyes for a while, so that Ren felt more self-conscious about himself. He knew this was a risky business. He wasn't ready to have this conversation with her but he couldn't stop and leave either without explanation. And for now, he hadn't yet figured out a solid one. So, for now, he had to play his part as her helping 'senpai'.

Kyoko's eyes held his but her voice was softer than earlier. "So I am here now with you and I am not sure should I tell you my secret. I have been pretending to be someone else for you." Kyoko lowered her eyes to her hands that kept playing nervously on her lap. "'_There is so much I want to say but I'm so scared to give away. Every little secret that I hide behind, would you see me differently? And would that be such a bad thing? I wonder what it would be like if I told you_'. I want to tell you, but I am scared. Scared of you leaving me. Everything might change if I told you. But it hurts. It hurts not to tell you all of me. It hurts to think I might lose you." All Ren could do was stare. His mind was all blank. It was like she saw through him or might have as well read his thoughts. Kyoko continued "'_What if I told you that it's just a front to hide the insecurities I have. What if I told you that I'm not as strong as I like to believe I am_'". Kyoko stopped and raised her eyes to Rens again. She now had more power in her voice. Ren could see the change in her eyes, similar to what happened when she was in and out of her own character. "But 'what if'? That is what is eating him inside. He doesn't know what happens if he chooses to tell her his secrets. But in reality, nobody can foretell it. It all depends on their relationship. The strong relationship could withstand it. That is what I think. 'What if' he tells her and she would accept it? Would I see him differently and would it be such a bad thing? The way he thinks it might be a big thing for him and it probably would make me think of him in a new light but yet not knowing it, I cannot tell would it be a bad thing." Kyoko didn't realize that in the middle of her train of thoughts she had switched her way of talking in character to herself. She had thought if someone close to her would be in that situation, how she would react. She thought of Moko-san. No matter what Moko would tell her, she would support her best friend. She knew it. She loved her so much. Kyoko smiled to the thought of her friend and once more turned to look Ren who seemed to be deep in his thoughts. "Tsuruga-san, what do you think so far?" Kyoko asked. His eyes found hers and for a moment he didn't say a word. Kyoko could see he was thinking and could see the moment he made his decision of something.

"Mogami-san, what do you think of us?" Ren asked suddenly looking straight to her eyes. Needless to say, Kyoko was in shock. That was not something she thought he would say. And how it was related to any of their discussion just now? "Wha-what makes you ask th-that?" she stuttered her face heating quickly. Ren felt his corners of the mouth to turn into a small smile. She looked so cute and her reaction might have been misleading which wanted him to paint this moment in his mind, in case what he was about to do was going to rapidly change their relationship to something else. "I think us as good friends. Actually, in my mind, you are the closest friend I have beside Yashiro-san." Kyoko was stunned. "And I was wondering how you feel about me?" Ren knew this was way too risky and blunt but he had to know. "I-I would be honored to b-be Tsuruga-san's friend," Kyoko said softly cheeks bright red. Ren smiled at her. "Good to hear that. In that case, can I call you Kyoko then?" he asked. Kyoko's heart was working overdrive by now. She didn't even realize her answering 'yes' to him. Hearing a sigh next to her pulled her back to present again. "Thank you, Kyoko. I know I just asked you too many questions already. But I still am going to ask one more." he said carefully. "Kyoko, you are aware that my stage name is Tsuruga Ren, and so it is not my real name." "Yes?" she was puzzled by this. Ren looked again straight to her eyes and asked: "can I ask you to listen to my secret?"

The song used in this story: Jason Walker - What if I told you


	4. Sometimes to win you have to sin

Kyoko didn't know how long she had run but she knew she needed some rest soon. Looking over her shoulder and not seeing anybody she slowed her pace. But Kyoko couldn't stop. Not just yet. First, she had to make sure it would be safe. She squeezed the gun in her hand even harder. Her eyes took in every building, every window, everything. She tried to listen for any movement or footsteps but she heard nothing. Her senses were basically overworking now. Not hearing or seeing anything expect her heavy breathing she made her way to the alleyway between two building she was close to.

The day had started to turn into night, which in her favor helped her to blend in the dark shadows. Kyoko let herself to lean to the cold wall and to close her eyes. She let out a heavy sigh. Opening her eyes again Kyoko looked the alleyway she was resting. On her right was the street she had just come in and on her left was a dead end. '_Just my luck_' she thought irritated. Yes, she'd got her way out but the ladders on the wall would take longer than shooting a person from it. If an enemy would now come and find her she would be in big trouble. The bright side was that she still had a quite decent amount of ammo. The downside was, she had no idea where she was. Deciding it would be the best time to load her gun now and then worry, Kyoko took her small back bag off from her shoulders and got to the business.

While working Kyoko thought she heard a sound. It was faint. Slowly she took a better hold of her gun. She thanked her luck that she attentive enough to hear it, otherwise she might not have been ready. Again that sound. But... It came above her. Shit. '_The ladder_', Kyoko cursed in her head. She quickly turned around and aimed to the darkness and was ready to fire.

"Good, you were alert after all. You looked like you were spacing out again" said the dark figure climbing down the ladder. "Kanae!" Kyoko called her out. She literally had never been happier to see her best friend, than she was now. "Keep your voice down, you idiot!" Kanae hushed. "Oh Kanae, I was so scared. I lost you and I got lost myself and-" "Mo Kyoko, enough already." Kanae sighed sounding tired herself also. She walked closer to Kyoko and gripped her arm tightly. "Have you already forgotten what you have with you? Huh?" she said pointedly and raised Kyoko's arm higher. Kyoko's eyes followed Kanae's to her wrist where there was resting her watch. "My watch? What? Do you want to know what time it is?" Kyoko asked unsure what her friend had meant. "Oh my god, Kyoko! How can you be so stupid? Do you even know that with mine, I was able to track where were you? That with it I even knew you were alive anymore?" "What are you talking about?" Kanae let go of Kyoko's arm and let out a breath. Then she turned back to Kyoko. "Shortly, yes that is a watch. But there is also a GPS. Ours are linked together, and since we are partners, I can see where you are. And you can see where I am." Kanae guided Kyoko and showed on her watch how it really worked. "You see that dot, that is you, right next to mine. It is blinking, which shows your heartbeat. Yes, Kyoko, it is taking your heartbeat from your wrist, it is not magic. Once you lose the sight of the dot, it means... Well, then there is no heartbeat anymore. That is why, never, on any circumstance, take this watch off from your wrist" Kanae said strictly to Kyoko while holding her gaze. "I promise, Kanae. It makes me feel better now" Kyoko said smiling. Now she'd know if her friend would be alright.

Kyoko and Kanae made a new plan for their attack. Their job was to take down the enemy before midnight. And by now they only had a couple of hours left. "How many you think there is left?" Kyoko asked while carefully looking out to the open street from their hide-out. "Well, before we split up we took down that small group outside the offices, and after that, I shot four by my self. So I think there should be a couple more still left," Kanae answered still leaning to the wall behind Kyoko. "What about.." Kyoko asked quietly turning back to face her friend again. Kanae sighed and grabbed the gun in her hands harder. "Nothing. So that means they are still out there." Kyoko said to that nothing. She turned back to look out to the street. Kanae pushed herself from leaning the wall and walked to Kyoko's side. "Look, Kyoko. I need you. Yeah, you heard me right. I need you right now, okay. I can't make it on my own this time. And you are my partner. So don't let me down. Did you hear me? Don't. Let. Me. Down." Kyoko looked to Kanae who was now standing next to her. She knew what her friend was talking about. Kyoko knew what the consequences were if they were to lose tonight. "I'm here with you 'till the end. They won't take us down. Remember, we are Angels with Shotguns" Kyoko said and winked. Kanae's expression turned tone darker. "Mo! I still can't believe the President named our team like that!" Kyoko could not but to laugh to her friend's expression.

_Gunshot_. The loud noise woke girls back in action. Luckily the shot had missed quite a much. Kyoko peeked from the alleyway and saw a broken window a few meters away. "Up there, the building across the street!" Kanae yelled. Kyoko also noticed the enemy and took a cover before next shot. Kanae was already climbing the ladders up when Kyoko was now aiming the sniper. Two shot missed, third right on the spot. Kyoko quickly grabbed her bag and followed Kanae.

After couple bruises, some lost ammo and only half an hour left Kyoko and Kanae had succeeded to take down three more enemy groups. They were now a top of one smaller office building, catching some air. Kyoko was laying on her back of the roof panting. She thanked all the days she had rode her bike to work and managed to keep her stamina this good. Even Kanae was holding her side though she tried to keep her cool. "Luckily the last one had a terrible aim, otherwise I would have been screwed," Kyoko said when her breathing had evened enough and her adrenaline rush had subsided. "Don't worry, I would have knocked him down even without a gun," Kanae said half smiling. Then her expression turned to serious again. "If I'm counting it correctly-" "And I'm sure you are" Kyoko interrupted smiling. "- _they_ should be the only ones left" Kanae finished. Kyoko sat up. She had to agree. The main enemy wasn't weak. _They_ didn't make mistakes. "Moko, what do you think would think would happen if we don't finish this on time?" Kyoko wondered out loud. "Isn't it same then as losing?" Kanae answered. "I basically made an oath not to lose tonight. Why would you even ask it now?" "Just thinking.."

Girls exited from the building back to the street. Kyoko noticed some movement on her right. She slightly touched Kanae's hand getting her full attention and whispered to her "It is all or nothing now." Girls whirled around and opened fire. Two dark figures on the shadows dodged the bullets and split up both running on different directions. "Kyoko, you go left! He is all yours!" Kanae shouted and ran after the other guy.

Kyoko had always been fast with her feet. But she was still struggling to keep up with the enemy running before her. She couldn't take him down while both speeding down the streets. She needed to make him stop even for a second. The enemy took a sharp turn to his left and rounded the corner of a building. Kyoko was quick to follow him. And she crashed herself straight to him. "Whoa!" Kyoko yelped and fell on her butt. She had dropped her gun in the collision and it was now laying a few feet from her. Kyoko turned her eyes back to the man standing in front of her. Eyeing him from his boots slowly up to his face. Damn it, he was too handsome. But what made her more sullen was his smug grin on that handsome face. That was the knowing smile that yelled '_I won and you know it_'. "You know Tsuruga-san, that was a dirty move!" Kyoko snapped referring the crash. She was feeling exhausted and bruised. Bruised on her body and now ego. "Well, sometimes to win you have to sin," Ren said huskily. "But now you got to choose. We don't have a lot of time left here. You can either surrender or I have to shoot you. It is all up to you, Mogami-san. You know, I'd really hate to hurt you, but I will do it if you make me. It's all part of the game," he looking into Kyoko's eyes. Ren took a step closer to her. That made her act. Kyoko pushed herself up from the concrete and plunged herself toward her gun. Just as she got a hold of her weapon she heard the gunfire. Kyoko screamed and dropped the gun again.

Her side was burning. With trembling hands, she touched her now sore side and her fingers colored in blue color. God, it hurt more than she thought. Ren had now walked next to her. He lowered himself down and took Kyoko's gun to his hand. "Just in case you would have gotten an idea to shoot me in the back. Even though the game is now over," he said winking. "Well done, you almost made it till the end," Ren said smiling down at her and held his free hand to Kyoko. Still feeling upset for losing but also so sore, she took his hand and Ren helped Kyoko to her feet. "I didn't believe this would have been this fun, Yashiro. We need to do this again sometime." Kyoko now realized that Yashiro-san was indeed standing behind Ren. And with him, there was also obviously angry Kanae. Kyoko could see the blue smudge on her left thigh. '_So she also got hit_' Kyoko thought sadly. That meant that they had lost to Ren and Yashiro-san. "I was amazed how well you all handled a gun like that" Yashiro said. "But you girls played paintball really well for the first-timers. Luckily you only got one hit and that ball only does make a little mess compared to real ones" he said smiling to Kanae and Kyoko. "Does only make a mess? Give me back my gun and I will show you that it makes more than that!" Kanae hissed next to him. Yashiro hurried to apologize for his poor comment.

They had had a long day with the President's newest game. Ren and Yashiro gathered all of their gears and then they made their way back to the bus stop they were instructed hours before. While walking, Ren turned to his friend. "You know Yashiro-san, you now want to ask Kotonami-san's phone number. You might need it later." Ren said and winked to his manager. The comment made both Yashiro's and Kanae's face heat up. Kyoko looked over her shoulder to her friend who was looking everywhere else expect to Yashiro-san at the moment. Ren chuckled and turned to Kyoko next to him. "And you, Mogami-san. Once we get back to the President's place we better check your work schedule. You seem to owe me one of your evenings." Ren said brightly. You could see him shining even though it was over midnight by now. Kyoko didn't know if her face was all red from embarrassment or if it had turned all white from dread. But she was not going to lose to that gorgeous smile of his that was dangerously making her weaker to resist him.

The song used in this story: The Chainsmokers ft. Daya - Don't Let Me Down  
The Cab - Angel with a Shotgun


End file.
